Red Hunting Hat

I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. Where I lived at Pencey, I lived in the Ossenburger Memorial Wing of the new dorms. It was only for juniors and seniors. I was a junior. My roommate, Stradlater was a senior. Anyway my dorm was named after this guy, Ossenburger, You should see him, old Ossenburger, he owns some undertaking business where you can get your family members buried for five bucks. Anyway, we had some ceremony when he did this speech which lasted for about ten million hours, and then they named a dorm after him! He's one sonuvabitch phoney. So anyway, thats where I live. When I got back I started reading my book 'Out of Africa' because the library gave me the goddamn wrong book I thought it would stink but it didn't but my favorite author is D.B. Anyway, I put on my new hat and say down and started reading that book 'Out of Africa' I'd read it already, but I wanted to read certain parts over again. I'd only read about three pages when i heard someone coming through the shower curtains. I knew it was Ackley, he's always goddamn barging in on me. He's on helluva goddamn bastard. He was always picking up your stuff and putting it back in the wrong place! One helluva nosy sonuvabitch. Then he started asking about fencing, he didn't even CARE about fencing, he just wanted me too look up from my book. He came over and stood right in my light, I'd been reading the same sentence for like a million years now so i decided to look up. He was exactly the kind of guy that would do that. Anyway me and him had a coupla' conversations before Stradlater BURST in and asked me to borrow MY hound's tooth jacket, MY JACKET! He convinced me he wouldn't stretch it and i decided to lend it too him, he went out to the can with no top on and his toilet kit under his arm. He loved doing that because he thought he had a damn good build. He did too, I gotta admit.